Our Love Story

We realized as we assembled our wedding graphic designs and materials that some of the folks who are invited may not know our full story, or may be curious as to why we have pictures together going back to 1999. The most elegant solution seemed to be a website hosting "our story" for those guests who were interested.

Our story is long but also very short. The short version is: it has always been us. We have both loved others and spent many years alone as well, but we never felt more comfortable in our own skin than when we have been together. Though time and circumstance kept us from becoming a family until five years ago, we have always carried each other in our hearts, and remained connected and curious about each other through the years. While Jesse prefers to avoid ideas like "soulmates" or "meant to be" because they undermine the power of the choices we have made, and the work we have done to be together, it is an easy romantic notion to apply.

The long story:

Dita and Jesse met in high school in 1998. Jesse was a junior, and Dita a freshmen. She was pulled in to do costumes and make-up for "The Sound of Music" 2 weeks till opening night by a desperate friend, and Jesse was playing the German Admiral. Finding an admiral uniform at the last minute was challenging enough, but finding "Jesse Grunewald" to get his measurements proved even more difficult causing quite a point of stress. The name "Jesse Grunewald" remained in bold on her to do list as the days ticked down, haunting her, until finally a last minute rehearsal with all soldiers was called. Making her way through the group, she proclaimed "I'm looking for Jesse Grunewald!", and a 6 foot tall, black haired boy with icy blue eyes said "That's me". Filled with relief, Dita exclaimed "oh, yes! I need you!" and Jesse turned to his best friend Jonathan, waggled his eyebrows and said "I'll be right back" causing Dita to blush. That would not be the last time.

A friendship developed from there, over the course of months, while Dita opted to pursue floppy haired silly dandies as young girls are wont to do. When one of these insincere boys embarrassed her after she confessed her crush on him, and she confided her hurt in Jesse, he stood up for her and she began to see him in a new light. Finding him somewhat intimidating before, she began to see glimpses of his sensitive nature. Though he remained somewhat cynical, broody and aloof to others, having no patience for typical teenage rituals of attention seeking and meaningless chatter, with her he softened and she was charmed. (See: Pride and Prejudice)

Worth noting, Jesse says he pursued her because he found her to be unconventionally beautiful in a way that stood out from the norms of the time. He says he enjoyed how she always seemed to be happy and energetic, how intelligent she was and that she laughed at his jokes (lol).

Jesse became Dita's first boyfriend after 4 months of patient pursuit. For a year they had a passionate relationship - both stubborn and high spirited, they fought plenty but were totally inseparable.

1999

Breaking up for a variety of reasons, as most high school couples do, they went their separate ways. Jesse became the father of the most adorable and sweetest-natured little boy that ever existed. Dita went to college, indulging in the typical adventures of the college experience.

In 2004, when Dita was 20 years old and Jess was 23, a text message appeared on Dita's phone "Testing 1... 2... 3...". She was a junior at Shenandoah Conservatory studying theater, but had just gotten a taste of travel on a study abroad trip to Costa Rica. Jesse had separated from Connor's mom, and had never really stopped wondering how Dita was. They began texting and talking daily, and fell back in love alarmingly quickly. An epic long distance love affair began, with Dita spending weekends with Jess and then 4 year old Connor, who totally stole her heart. She studied abroad again, the time in Spain, and decided she wanted to explore academic travel more. Her college didn't offer international studies or semester long study abroad, so she looked into transferring to a school closer to Jesse. But Jesse struggled with the idea of a partner spending full semesters halfway around the world, and though it tore them both apart, they decided to end the relationship.

Dita went on to live in New York City, backpack Europe and get her master's degree. Jesse became the father of another incredible little human, Vinni. They remained in touch off and on. Jesse learned the locksmith trade, and when Dita purchased her own home in Richmond by the skin of her teeth in 2012, Jesse came and changed her locks for her for free. But the timing wasn't right yet again.

In 2018, when Dita was 34 and Jesse was 36, Dita had a dream about high school and Jesse. He remained on her mind the next day, and like you do, she looked up his social media. Seeing he hadn't posted in 6 years, she messaged him "are you alive?" to which he immediately responded. They discovered they had both been single for 6 years after emotional endings of challenging long term relationships that left them healing and nervous to dip toes back into dating.

As always, the sense of familiarity and friendship led the way as they chatted daily, often falling asleep talking on the phone. Sparks flew almost immediately as their banter and flirtation grew. While they tried to take it slow and be cautious, they knew they were falling hard and very quickly. The words "I love you" were on the tips of their tongues after only weeks. Both acknowledging to say those words may be recklessly premature (though they had said them many times before in previous lives), they resorted to saying it in other languages at first to feel more responsible. "Te amo" "Je t'aime" and even "Jalan atthirari anni" and "Shekh ma shieraki anni" ('moon of my life' and 'my sun and stars' from Game of Thrones) became stand ins.

The next months passed as blissful days of new (yet old) love in true Richmond, Virginia style. Lazy Saturday mornings were spent walking to the coffee shop and used record store searching for treasures. Afternoons and sunsets were spent at the James river, or on Dita's porch talking and laughing long into the night or singing together while Jesse played guitar.

It wasn't long before they began planning a future together. In November of 2019, Jesse proposed and they moved in together to renovate Dita's house to sell so that they could relocate together to Hampton Roads to be close to Connor and Vinni, excited to be a family. When Jesse broke the news that he was proposing, Vinni pumped her fist and said "yessss" which made Dita very happy.

The last 5 years have been both challenging and deeply rewarding. Jesse and Dita now have a beautiful home full of cats and house plants with Vinni staying with them every other week. They look forward to Connor's wedding next year (!!!) and Jesse is studying electronics engineering after work at the local community college. Dita is a Parks Planner with a nearby city, and they spend a lot of time in their shared hobby room while Dita does crafts and Jesse welds circuit boards. Weekend take out and scary movies, or cuddling while Dita reads her Kindle and Jess plays his Switch, are the norm these days. They look forward to adventures in the future, but are deeply enjoying this more domestic and quiet season of their lives after an eventful few years of multiples moves, pandemic and post-pandemic chaos.

They can't wait to finally be officially married and to spend time with their combined family (and some friends) for the first time.